Like It Was Yesterday

He didn't destroy my life
He just changed it
A little more than everyone else who walked right in

Shadows fall on every word he spoke
But every feeling lives deep in my soul
And the words will fly to the wind
The dreams will get caught in a little picket fence
With paint only half dry
But I will grasp the way I feel with an iron fist for my life

In retrospect I can see that I never saw clearly
And now I don't act anymore
I just react
I pay someone to understand
And even he has no clue who I am

And night after night
I pray for God to lay with me while I sleep
But the attacks still hit me quite frequently

I don't love my friends as much as I should
I'm a repel everything that touches me
But I was more like a puddle of mud
When it actually counted

Everything is backwards
And then someone is sent to turn it all upside down
Just to prove that I can't stick to anything
And I can't really love anyone

No matter how hard I try to be there
People who have built the best parts of my world
Still bleed at night

I can't control it
And I can't help but be disappointed that I didn't see it

Failure doesn't follow me
And innocence didn't leave me
And most of all he didn't find me
I sought it out
And I drove it away

No matter where I should place blame
I still carry it all around with me
Like it was yesterday