This is My Down Fall

Christians cry
Feel lonely
Angry
And doubt
But it's never alright
After awhile that's just something we figure out

And I don't understand
Why can't I love the sheep who found their way home?
I only care for the lost
And in a search and rescue
I seem to get lost along my way

Is it fair to say we all have our reasons?
But when was anything fair anyways?
And as a Christian
What I feel more than any weak thought
Is
Anger

And my mild temper has fooled many
My sense of humor has chuckled me straight through
Many a tense situation
And never did anyone
Including me
Realize how anger I had become

I was angry at friends
Who never seemed to be there
I was angry at the church
Who never seemed to get anywhere
I was angry at him
For saying he loved me
I was angry at Christian boys
For refusing to love people like me
I was angry at my family
For never really noticing
I'm just angry

And how do I know how to hold on?
When the only thing keeping me grounded
Is my hate for everything
How do I forgive?
And refuse to fall apart

When did it become so hard to be me?