Sunday, February 20, 2011

Go Home

I dug graves for you
As deep as my sin
The depths of my longing
And even...

My heart sunk into your palms
Where you wistfully toyed with the idea
Of crushing me
So swift
That I would never know the difference
Only a sharp pain that felt like

I tried to be happy
But even that felt like dying
Every time you found me
I drug another grave
More deep
More precious
Right next to
... your father

I mean to be crude
To tell you
That I would have never known that no one cared
Had to never pillaged through my town
With a torch
And a tank of gasoline
Burning me to the ground
I burned
For years
Never ending
Never seeing

You were the devil in my eyes
And when I screamed
I literally meant
"Go to hell"
Only back from where you came
I thought that maybe
They were used to you there

I buried you
Never the way that I wanted to
But in my mind
And you sneaky little fool
You keep trying to dig your way out
Right when I knew
That by now
You had to have run out of air

But maybe evil doesn't need oxygen
It just needs to know
That the desolation
That you so fondly brought out of me
Could be begging
For your wounds
Digging a grave
To live in misery next you you
What I knew...
For so long
So Long

Dead End Road

I hope you know
That when this all ends
For the love of my emotional health
Let's say...
Sooner rather than later

I will never cry for you
I sit with all intend of having control
And I do
I've been saying it over and over
But you're not listening
Not speaking and not listening
Serving as an irrelevant member of exchange

I know it's who I am again
And I know that I did it to myself
And I'm just a little disappointing

I will always be the distraction
I will never be the one
Never the love
Never the lifetime
I will also serve to divert reality
With my smile
My laugh
That find themselves grounded only in the

Every time I do this to myself
I distrust the world a little more
And I'm oozing the loathing that I've been nurturing
All these years
Of realizing
That maybe this is all I will ever be.

I will never cry for you
But I may shed a tear for those before you
If only I had known
Where this would take me...
A dead end road