Monday, August 17, 2009


Feel me

Know me
Why not?

Don't make me beg
I'm too proud for that

Find me
I'm not hiding

Breathe into me
I'm suffocating

Take the hands that are choking me
And despise them

Do it for me
Not who you want me to be
Just for me

Friday, August 14, 2009


Tried to explain innumerable times
And continue
Possible to the very day
I'm taken away

Words never wrapped around it
Minds left to wonder
How great a Love
Desperate for a savior

I remember
Down to the very core of my being
Forgetting pride for the first time
Admitting my own need
Laying on the same floor
Until I heard something
That life and death feeling

I desire that floor
My heart yearns for the same desperation
That I felt back then

And I know
That today I need a savior
The same as I needed Him years ago

It's the prayer of my being
Every cell in my body exhales
The same need

I will sing a song about the indescribable
A love that sinks to the core of my being
And tells me that I'm not alone
Even when no one is around

My parents are six feet down
And I'm on the floor again
Breathing through the cracks in the wood

Exactly where
Love finds me

And everything I have
Is nothing that I ever wished for
Nothing I ever deserved

It's bigger than a little girl dreamed
Brighter than the crayons stains
More lovely than the dresses and pearls
The imagination of a little girl

Deeper than all the depths of me

Love in a Savior

Saturday, August 8, 2009

For Me

I never want you to die
But I can't say I gave it much thought either

I'm not sure if I wished you handsome
Or just wished you strong
But I wished all the same

I wished you to be wonderful
Yes, I do remember wishing for that

But you frighten me
Not knowing you
And when I do
Is it the real you?
Or just a matter of time before you transform
Into someone new

I don't want to live without you

But what if you make all my biggest fears come true?

What if you were everything I ever wanted you to be
Until the late nights at the office
And the cold side of the bed where you used to lay

What if you just stopped caring?

You stopped listening when I was talking
And then I realized
That just like everyone else
You were caught by my charm
My uniqueness
The shockingly inappropriate first remarks
Or my mystery

But in the end
I wasn't enough to keep your attention

And so my loyalty would lead me to clean
To cook better
Look better
Love better

Always wishing that I didn't have to fight
To be good enough

That maybe there was someone
Maybe there could be someone
Who would love me for me

Wanting to spend everyday
Getting to know better
All the ways that he will love me
As infinite as all the things there are to know
About me