Saturday, August 8, 2009

For Me

I never want you to die
But I can't say I gave it much thought either

I'm not sure if I wished you handsome
Or just wished you strong
But I wished all the same

I wished you to be wonderful
Yes, I do remember wishing for that

But you frighten me
Not knowing you
And when I do
Is it the real you?
Or just a matter of time before you transform
Into someone new

I don't want to live without you

But what if you make all my biggest fears come true?

What if you were everything I ever wanted you to be
Until the late nights at the office
And the cold side of the bed where you used to lay

What if you just stopped caring?

You stopped listening when I was talking
And then I realized
That just like everyone else
You were caught by my charm
My uniqueness
The shockingly inappropriate first remarks
Or my mystery

But in the end
I wasn't enough to keep your attention

And so my loyalty would lead me to clean
To cook better
Look better
Love better

Always wishing that I didn't have to fight
To be good enough

That maybe there was someone
Maybe there could be someone
Who would love me for me

Wanting to spend everyday
Getting to know better
All the ways that he will love me
As infinite as all the things there are to know
About me

2 comments:

GKM said...

hmm... yeah... so tru.

"He calls his own sheep by name..."

Chinedu said...

You know, that's quite a legitimate feeling. I often wondered about the pizazz in marriages. I have this saying that you don't really know who you're marrying until you're married. You might extend that to say: You don't really know who you are until you're married. But really, what keeps things fresh and new? Do things naturally wear off? Why? Should they? Is that normal? How do prevent it? Stop it? Slow it? Why are we afraid of it?