My Deadly Secrets

No one is without secrets
Events
Feelings about the events
Feelings about themselves
Other people
Or thoughts we would never admit that we have

Sometimes we become totally unaware of our secrets
Obsessed
Tormented
Accepting
Or even apathetic

Maybe it is time for confessions
Or maybe secrets protect us from being completely destroyed

But this is a momentary pause in life
For a little confession of my own
(Confession is good for the soul
Or so I'm told)

Of all the times I hated or loved myself
I could never seem to understand
How could a boy like him get a girl like me?
Well, not easily and not lasting
And as much as I hate to admit it
I always knew that I was better than all that

For all the love I have or thought I had for him
There's still always a part of me that wants to watch him burn in hell
And these are my deadly secrets
My shameful thoughts
The things that I have reasons for
Many many reasons
But no excuses

And the only time I ever really cried
Was when he forgot how much he "loved" me

These are the things I won't ever tell

So,

God help me be humble
Help me love
Help me truly believe