Friday, June 20, 2008

My Life Made Up of My Moments

Is it not enough to wait
Or to pray

When nothing seems to be okay
And every time I just sit and wait

Life is moving too quickly
And for the first time in a long time
I'm falling behind

I've never caught a break
I've never seen life the way that I see it today

This is the long awaited stand still
Like the eye of the storm

With everything raging around me
I feel a momentary sense of peace

But in all this I still know
The second half of the storm is still coming for me

All I have to do is keep my head on straight
All I have to do is keep up the wait

With the clothes on my back
And the worn out shoes on my feet

I just keep moving
Pacing myself for what I still have to go through

The only different between me and everyone else today
Is that I can see what I must face

And some people never know pain
Some people invented it
But I must learn to love it
Because right now
It's my constant companion

So, hit me with your best shot baby
Because I'm still playing


Jennifer said...

"And some people never know pain
Some people invented it"

I don't think that's completely true.

Some people just know pain differently than you...or they show it differently.

I mean some people do exaggerate pain...or hold onto imaginary pain. I agree with that. But I think that somewhere behind imagined pain is real pain...whether self-inflicted or not.

But pain can come from anywhere...what devastates you, might not harm another...and what you can just brush off can almost destroy someone else.

Pain's just weird like that.

You're not in this alone, Catie...seriously,'re not. You have more people than you think cheering for you...wanting to help in any way we can.

I love you.

A lot :)

Catie said...

So, this is the second time that that little couplet got misunderstood. It seems to be saying that some people have never felt any type of pain at all and some people invent it in their heads. BUT what it really means is that some people have a relatively easy life. It is true that there has never been a human being who didn't feel pain, but some people would admit themselves that they've had a relatively easy life. They by no means had to struggle along like some people.

Then the people who invent it don't invent it in their heads. They invent it as in cause it. It could be a rapist or it could just be a guy who wants to marry a "virgin" or is embarrased of the way his wife dresses. Some people even cause pain without knowing what they are doing.

Jennifer said...

if what you meant convey was caused the pain, then perhaps it would read better as "some people never know pain and some people create it"

And I think it is a very dangerous path to start comparing pain...who are we to decided who has not known serious amounts of pain. Besides, why should it matter how much pain others experience...this is a poem about YOUR life, your pain, your moments...why throw in other people's pain (or lack thereof)? If everyone in the world hurt as bad as you did every second...would that make you feel better? The line doesn't really fit with the poem.

Catie said...

The line is to introduce pain, and the fact that it is one of those things that no two people feel the same. Poems in general are subject to different interpretations. And even though it is about my life... no one's life just involves themselves. We are all in this together... and it is perfectly fine to assume that some people have felt more pain than others. I will never know the pain of a sex slave or even the pain of a serial killer. It's perfectly fine to assume that people know different amounts of pain and some people cause more than other's... it's just how it is. I can't say if I have felt more pain than the next person, but no matter what I know there are some people who have felt more pain than I have and some people who haven't felt as much as me. At the end of the day... it's just my life... and my thoughts... and the way that I see my pain vs. the pain of the world. The poem is not meant to be P.C. it's just for me.

Giavanna said...

I really like this one, I can relate to the majority of it hun, I love ya much and miss you oodles