Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Why don't you love me?

Up and down the street
Walking walking
Hood up and cigarette lit
Contemplating why you won't love me
Wondering why the one before
Didn't seem to like me
I see
That you don't know me
But what I can't see
Is why you don't want too

Am I too rough around the edges?
Or can you already see through me?
And this nasty little cigarette
I know you would disagree
But I hid it from you
So I smoke still
Knowing that the problem is not in my lungs
It's my heart

I cried for forgiveness
And God heard my plea
But no eye has acknowledged me
My cry grows louder
Still occupying this earth
I'm looking for a place to fit in
But once again
I'm stuck in the middle
Redeemed
But not quite who people think I should be

2 comments:

Margaret said...

So I have concluded that we are "soul sisters." This is a title reserved for few, mind you. What it means is that we share so many of the same feelings and understandings, and that is very rare to find, even in friends. All of this is a roundabout way of saying that I really feel like I can relate to this poem. You wrote about something that I have been feeling for a long time but didn't quite know how or didn't exactly want to put into words for fear of acknowledging it. Often times I feel like I am too "rough around the edges" for guys... but then I know that I can never stifle who I really am for very long... and what I always come to realize after every time I try to be someone that I am not is that... I like who I am. I like how I am. I really do. I think I bring something different into the world. If all girls were sweet, lacked the wittiness of sarcasm (thats how I like to think of it) and didn't have a fighting spirit, the world would suck. Remember, he's got to fall down a flight of stairs, land flat on his face, and then pick himself up and chase after you AS YOU ARE WALKING AWAY, LAUGHING AT HIM. And that, my dear is love. Anything else is fleeting, at best. And PS- said homeboy in this illustration will be chasing after you knowing full well that you are you, "rough around the edges" and all. :)

Anonymous said...

Catie, it's Lauren.
This is one of my favorites. You and your writing are so beautiful and dear to me, even if I suck at being there and being a friend. I love you. KEEP WRITING!!