This Place

I've said time and again
Only God knows the end
Of my story
Mainly guts, but not much glory
And worries
Just cracked up to be a somewhat mild form of disbelief
Who am I fooling?
Who's heard enough?
After all this
I'm going to let myself go under
Because I suddenly
Read minds
And know that this subject has been drained
To the fullest extent
Maybe I just can't fess up to it
I can't claim depression
Because I'm always happy
But all the signs point in that general direction
Here we go again
My emotions
I suddenly remember all too clearly why I hid them away for so long
I was still underage
And I had no time to be admitted
If I could just fully believe
That everytime I look at those pictures
It will not always hurt so bad
That everytime my mom smiles at my expense
It won't make my world
It's just too bad
That it's just too late
And God is all I have left
But if I had chosen him when I had everything else
I would not still be suffering from side effects
It's just confusion
Thoughts that I havn't taken the time to sift through
Too many?
Too tired?
Too many questions
With too little answers
It's strange
How well I remember this place