Monday, March 15, 2010

Trip With Me

I look through my memory
The only one that I have
Biased it may be
But you swirl like a dream

You're thousands of shades of blue
And it's a brown out
So remind me

You wanted everything
And I was up for the taking
So you took
And you took
And you took
From me

You made me feel like I was somewhere else
People like you don't happen
Where I grew up

You were my favorite
My acid
Sitting in my spinal column

And sometimes
Sometimes
I turn the wrong way
And your swirling colors come back to me
With one swift crack of my back
Your acid takes me
Again

And the memories flood in
Just a little trip...

The only way you ever seemed
Sucking me into your fantasy
Dressing me up like your mistress
And putting too much makeup on me
So no one would know
That your children were older
Older
Than me

Playing dress up with me

Like it wasn't weird that you were 23 years my senior
And I was barely 17
Because it was a trip
A drug
A dream
And when you told me that I should be happy

I was
For brief moments between the frightening faces
And the walls caving in on me

You flooded me like a dream
And when I woke up months later
It was the trip that never happened
And forever changed me

The thing I don't talk about
But it finds me

When I'm walking down the street
And an older man
With all the sophistication and worldliness of his years
Stares at me
With the same sly smile that you wore
Everyday

And my stomach drops
With the strange feeling of
I must know you from somewhere

Did you ever take a trip with me?

1 comment:

-m said...

This was a really powerful poem, and extremely creative as well.
"You wanted everything
And I was up for the taking
So you took
And you took
And you took
From me"

I thought this was really painful but really honest as well. Its like a voice speaking from deep deep within the heart&soul of someone who has been abused, things that one feels everyday but may not even think or feel able to say.

"And sometimes
Sometimes
I turn the wrong way
And your swirling colors come back to me
With one swift crack of my back
Your acid takes me
Again"

How powerful the memory is, and how terrible it is when we are hurt so badly that our life after for a long time becomes colored by what happened then...

"And putting too much make up on me
So no would know
That your children were older
Than me"

I have rarely read something more honest and painful than this (and only really in your writings :) )...I feel at a loss of what to say...