Wednesday, September 30, 2009

God Forbid

I'm going to call it a bad day

I'll call it a mood

But God forbid I claim it

God forbid I deal with it
Not filling my schedule with more things I don't have time for
So I never have to sit and think
God forbid

There was a crack in the cement running from one side to the next. I wondered if people would still walk here if it were perfect. Someone would stake their claim on something worth having, not today. So, I'll step over the crack and walk away.

Same thing
I will never be loved enough to be claimed

I am forgiven
But still tainted enough in the eyes of men
That I'll always be the friend or the last resort
That's who I am

I tried to change and I tried to lie
Burying the me inside
And finding my mask
With the happy smile and sad eyes
I tried

To hope that one day I would have a family
Of my own

But nothing I could wear, do, or say
Can take away
These things people see
It's the intuition of human nature

So now I will love myself enough to walk away
I will love myself so much that I don't ever settle for being the last resort
I am the first catch or I am nothing at all
Work fine on my own

And if I get lonely
I'll buy a dog

I am and will always be convinced
That things were never meant to be like this

God never meant for me to feel this way

But today I want to see things
Instead of making my own reality
Where I am lovely

If that cement could talk it would apologize for not being perfect, but never desire to be beautiful. People shame the beautiful as if they were put here to lead people astray.

Don't apologize
If you haven't done anything wrong

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