The First Day... Again

I find myself hesitant to write. I know my language will do this no justice.

A day never existed
As beautiful as this
Magnificent in the flows
And gracious to the mind

This is the day

Whether or not I believed in Love
Love always believed in me
Me
So unlovable

First loves are a constant memory
Always tugging at the same strings
Of broken hearts

Today is a good day to say
That I wear a broken heart on my sleeve
But my first Love is mending it slowly

He's more sweet than I imagined Him to be
Gentle to my rugged ways
And soft to a hard heart
He is my everything

Once upon what seems like another life
I refused to see
But He was always looking at me
Refusing to run away
He was the first who cared enough to stay

I find myself so weak
The trait that I have despised most
Since the day I first looked in a mirror
And learned how to hate
But now my weakness is so sweet
Fueling my only Love
Showing His strength

Fearing to dream
I thought of many things
And nothing I could fathom
Was nearly as beautiful as what I've seen

These are the moments
That would last a lifetime
If the world were a fair place
But while I feel
I will feel every depth
Every angle
All the liquid parts flowing through my distorted being

I cry with a grateful heart
I cry with a soul that was once lost

I am free
And I am loved

I never thought I would find either of those things

But He found me
When no one else could find me

I am alive