Everything I Have

So many years
Grabbing onto shaking lamp posts
Floating feathers
And the back of cars
Moving as fast they go

Attached to temporary things
Wishing for them to stay
Watching them fall
Watching them move away

Withdrawing
Was the water on a seed of self loathing
Detaching
Made a cold chill down to the marrow in my bones

Never taught to respond
Or taught myself
Life
I spoke death
Into my soul
Believing that it was a way to live a life

Trying to ignore the darkness

It whispered to me
So lightly
That I could make my ears learn
To stop listening
Yet there was a dark cloud following death
For years I saw it moving slowly towards me
And then hovering
Over the everglades
Ice caps of a frozen heart
Begging for life

Sitting in the back of my eyes

Feel

I lay naked and exposed
The only way I know to live
But the sun of the desert beats down on my heart
It runs into the streets
To people who love me

Love was never a good enough reason to stay

I can not help but wonder
If my heart is finding more homes
In more temporary things

I can not keep anything in my hands
To save my life
Literally to save my life

Prove me wrong
Please
I have been waiting my whole life
To be proven wrong

Stay
Please stay
Love me always

Do not let my heart wash away
Do not bury it before my body

I'm finally alive for the first time

I do not hurt the way I did
But I remember
I remember every second of every heartbreak
Every bit of pain is imprented my brain

I desire to be honest today
I want to tell God that I need Him here
Tangible so I can feel Him in my hands
Feel Him wrap around my exposed self
Wash my weary eyes

Be the only One who will ever prove me wrong
The only One to stay
Never go away