Still Blinking

I've been trying so hard
You have no idea
About anything
Because you left before I got to tell you that I loved you
At least to your face

When I found out you were gone, I swore that I wouldn't be angry. My hands remembered so tenderly the way that your fingers once lay in mine and your thumb moved across my hand like you were memorizing.

I miss your hands

Sorry, I didn't meant to say it
I swore that I would be strong
And I have been
Oh, you have no idea

... because you aren't here

Not here when I need you

I don't mean to sound angry, but the day that I knew they were putting your hands into the ground laying gracefully over your chest hoping that you rest in peace... I realized that a part of me would always be 6 feet under in an unappreciative lot. The place where no ground would understand what they held. But me, oh I would remember like I remember yesterday and fading like a dream. I begged your face to stop fading, but time took me while my back was turned and I can't get you back. The concrete substance of your fate is still killing me to this day... and I was too young.

I didn't mean to blink
When the bullet left the gun