Friday, April 18, 2008

Life Makes So Much and So Little Sense

I was robbed of virtue
And found better truths
Than I've known in my life
I'm alive for the hundredth time
And it never gets old
With imperfections that make me a little more beautiful
And a little more interesting
Humbling faults
That took my mind
When I found myself apathetic on a floor
With anger flowing through my bones
I could have my children taken
And drugs may rule a new generation
That I helped create
But fear is the only thing I have to fear now
And my hands are empty
From trying to work things out
With life that endlessly loved
And feeling masses of all encompassing emotions
That take the soul from my body
And distribute it to the world
The seems unworthy
But aren't we all?
With love we never deserved
Great things that we never saw in tunnels that seemed endless
With no sun to warm a cold heart
And families
That just don't care enough
And rejection that roots itself just deep enough
That it guides choices
And the monotonous chaos that surrounds us
Can I point the finger at fear?
For the sake of fear itself
Can we limit the dreams
That were never believed in
And just because my siblings traded lives
Does that mean I will?
For the sake of nothing more
Than anything else
A personal fable
That showed up post adolescence
Raging with the fire that self denial brings
Accepting apathy for the things I have yet to dream
That may take my heart
Or my life
A little price to pay
To save a world of pain
No different than that I've felt on my own
People that never learn
Me, who never learns
To be worthy of abuse
To wait for years on a few words
Hoping that I traded in myself for something of more worth
Searching for a price tag
A box
Anything to describe who I am
But never realizing
That I don't have a tag
Because I'm not for sale


Lori said...

Its good that you were able to write out everything that you have been thinking about. Isn't it interesting that no matter how old we get we still have that pure, childlike quality of looking up to others to show us the way? It shows how much we value those around us. The important thing to understand though is that just because someone you love, who once seemed so strong, is now falling behind doesn't mean that you will fall behind as well. You are a separate, autonomous person, and you make your own decisions about who you are going to be. You are making this decision every waking moment of your life. Your fight is not over until you say it is. Will you one day lose your fighting spirit?- it is only and entirely up to you. You have to remain self-aware, be conscious of your actions and how you are treating others; you have to hold yourself accountable. People fall behind a lot of times because they stop holding themselves accountable- to how they should treat themselves and how they should treat others. What it all comes down to is: treat yourself and others kindly, and you'll be just fine.

m said...

lol sorry! that previous comment was from me- my mom was signed into her google email so it signed her name on the comment. it was from me though!~