Struggles

This was never taught to me
It's mearly instinctual to survive

At the end of the day
Sitting four seats away
From the only place
I ever wanted to be

Knee deep in all the things
I swore I would never be
Making absolutely no sense
Because I write my morals as I go
Whether for comfort or for show

These are the struggles inside me
To lean on all too convincing
Insecurities
Or take a risk that I can only wish
Is the last of it's kind
And do what I believe

See these are the things
So clear cut
Open ended
Never questioned
But now begging to be forgotten

And when my sins find me
What excuse will be given
I was too insecure to let go
I loved too much
And for the first time in a long time
I allowed love to be a good enough reason to stay
When I knew it wasn't
Like everything else
It would eventually go away

Today
I wish to leave it all behind