Empy Quests

It must have been a few years ago
I loved to smoke alone
A solace representing
All the people I was around
And how alone I felt

But now I dread that balcony
Walking out alone
By myself for the first time in weeks
Secretly wondering
If I will have to face another demon
A different one
A new one that I don't completely understand

And then I wonder if he knows
That he was my favorite broken heart
He never did me wrong
Or at least not like the rest of them

And remove it from me
Because I may be
The only person on this planet
Who doesn't want to be in love
Never again

So why do I chase rainbows?
As if there is something at the end
Or maybe it's about the journey
To finding that I pick impossible quests
Like games
Like something to remind me why I love to pull down the rain
And stand like a final day
Where I was deciding again
Who I will serve today

Let Go

I've walked this road a million and one times
It's familiarity stays the same
But it changes a little everyday

I guess that's the same way
You feel about me
You stay for the familiarity
Even though I'm nothing like
I was the day you met me

Let go
Just let go
There are more places to see
There are more people
Other than me

The end of our story

I feel this wasting away
You know
The way you know that you're going to move soon
So you stand
As still as you can
Trying to fight the hand
That you were dealt without permission

It's bittersweet
But it will get better
It always does
I'm learingn again
To let go of who I was
Yesterday or years ago
It's still the past
Which ever way you go
And love may come again
Or this may be the end
But I'm not the one writing
I didn't jot down history
I just know that God still holds me
Even if this is the end of our story

A Weed

A weed in an endless breath taking garden
Of things not understood
Feeling different from everything around
Unable to see that it was choking itself
Choking out what it's blind eyes were unable to see
A life force
So strong it breathed
Through the leaves
And pedals of the most beautiful flowers
Ever seen
Mingling themselves into a world of color
Filled with energy
The kind that makes us breathe
When we exit the womb
And previous life sources are cut with a dull knife
Seeming like pain
That brings us into life
And can a weed turn into a beautiful flower?
No, it must be destroyed
And regrown
Into the same spirit
But shinning with a supernatural beauty
With that same energy
Always meant to be received
But weeds are unable to see
So in the own strength one can not open a blind eye
But must reject all natural things
And give up
Just in time to be grown anew
Into something more beautiful
More like You

There was a time

There was a time
When all I would have wanted
Was to lay with you
Sharing my last cigarette
On the beach
Thinking that if we just believed
We could live like that forever
Never moving
Just breathing in
The colors that surrounded us
A mosaic of unnamed shades
Waiting for us to let go of ourselves
And fly away
Into a sea of all the love
We had been harboring our entire lives
Learning to live for the first time
Making love like it was the last time
Tattooing rings on our fingers
So we never had meaningless medal tying us down to the earth
But to drink in the mind numbing pain of loving someone so much
That it gets hard to breathe
And it gets hard to speak
Because words fail
So the feeling just has to lay over us
An invisible blanket keeping us together
For all times