The Fear of God

I don't have much to give
And more times than not
I fear that I only love Him out of fear
I can't be sure if that is good enough a reason
But it's not for me
Because He used to be my best friend

Days on end
I wish that I could live
Simply
With few things to call my own
But the little bits of food I eat
Because maybe then I could see Glory for what it is
Instead of seeing but feet in front of me
And gambling constantly with my eternity

I have an alabaster box
But I have yet to know it's name
I pray and pray
That God show me
So today I could lay at His feet

But I have yet to see what I have to give
And I have yet to die a disciple
I have yet to breathe
Or think of God
Without a deep fear

That I'm doing it all backwards
Or upside down
And somehow I have more to give
So much more to give
That I can not even claim as my own
But I hold on to it
Til the day I account for my sins
And on that day what will I say?
For all the things I haven't seen
And all the things I don't know
This deep longing fear
That never lets go