Friday, August 9, 2013


There's been a prayer 
Embedded on my heart since before I knew to look there
Etched in fine print
Lacking secret and longing 

There is a purpose 
Posing as a prayer for the moments when I would beg for something to pray
To care 
To feel like I was meant to and brought to my knees with a calling 

It's been waiting

I grew up like most girls who lack simplicity 
I weaved through years looking for answers like they were hiding
Looking for meaning like it was meant for me 
Thought my mind could contain a solutions to the injustice around me

Absent from my existence since the day I was born 
Weaved onto a prayer etched on my being 

I saw tears as a problem until I realized that I was made for mourning 
That suffering was stitched into my skin 
Like a bond between me and humanity stretching to God 
And there was only ever one road leading to where I was meant to be
Paved with suffering and lined with grace
If only my feet would reach for the pavement
My heart would stop bracing for the fall
Let the fall be my salvation
And live a life of suffering
Bleeding purpose into lifeless bodies

It's in the prayer
In the middle of my room where I sit with my ghosts

I've asked God what to pray
It occurred to me that I could be asking for all the wrong things

He told me to come along side suffering 
To join Him in this journey
That humility is in existing in the middle of the most human part of humanity

Our ghosts
Our pain 
Our calling

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