Humility

There's been a prayer 

Embedded on my heart since before I knew to look there

Etched in fine print

Lacking secret and longing 

There is a purpose 

Posing as a prayer for the moments when I would beg for something to pray

To care 

To feel like I was meant to and brought to my knees with a calling 

It's been waiting

I grew up like most girls who lack simplicity 

I weaved through years looking for answers like they were hiding

Looking for meaning like it was meant for me 

Thought my mind could contain a solutions to the injustice around me

Humility... 

Absent from my existence since the day I was born 

Weaved onto a prayer etched on my being 

I saw tears as a problem until I realized that I was made for mourning 

That suffering was stitched into my skin 

Like a bond between me and humanity stretching to God 

And there was only ever one road leading to where I was meant to be

Paved with suffering and lined with grace

If only my feet would reach for the pavement

My heart would stop bracing for the fall

Let the fall be my salvation

And live a life of suffering

Bleeding purpose into lifeless bodies

It's in the prayer

In the middle of my room where I sit with my ghosts

I've asked God what to pray

It occurred to me that I could be asking for all the wrong things

He told me to come along side suffering 

To join Him in this journey

That humility is in existing in the middle of the most human part of humanity

Our ghosts

Our pain 

Our calling